I went to my friend’s Grandmother’s funeral years ago, and the legacy she left for her family changed my life. Her children and grandchildren stood on the stage of this big church in Abbotsford, which was filled with her loved ones and admirers, and they shared stories from large binders- stories that she had written and journaled throughout her life. Binderssssss- what a treasure this family had now, to be able to read their mother and grandmother’s writings- in her own words, in her own handwriting, from her perspective.
I went home that day, as an engaged woman, and decided I would do the same thing for my future family. I remember going out to Chapters to find the perfect journal, knowing it would eventually be filled and I would need a new one like it one day. I found a large black leather-bound journal, brought it home and decided when I would begin.
I brought this journal of mine to the hotel I stayed at with my family on the night before I got married. The first thing I did on the morning of our wedding day, was write my first journal ‘entry’… I could feel it was the beginning of something so special to me.
I wrote on our honeymoon, and on our homecoming as a newly married couple. I wrote through some challenging seasons at church, and I wrote through family struggles. I wrote about when Koby said ‘let’s start a family’.
I remember pulling courage from deep inside my heart, to write after our first miscarriage. I had previously written that we were ‘trying’… little did I know what the next entry would be. Devastating- I remember crying on the pages.
I wrote about my pregnancy with Jacob- all the exciting parts… finding out we were pregnant, what his first kicks felt like, and when we found out he was a boy.
I wrote about his birth story, and brought the journal to the hospital with me too.
I wrote about being a new mom, and the challenges that came with it- marriage, church-life, etc.
I wrote about June, being pregnant with a 4 month old (!!!), and the expectation I had for my baby girl. I wrote again at the hospital, just after she was born.
I wrote about Jed- how we tried for a few months to get pregnant with him and decided not to find out his sex until after he was born. I wrote from the hospital, in the snow storm on the day he was born.
I wrote about moving houses, and moments when I felt God speak to me. I wrote about big moments for Koby and for me too.
I brought this journal with me to the hospital when I knew I would be giving birth to Joseph too (you can read his story here). I wrote through tears again.
And I wrote through Judah’s traumatic pregnancy. I wrote out the scriptures we were (are!) standing on. I wrote about the hope and the heartache.
Here I am again today, writing in this most treasured item in my home. It would be the one thing that would devastate me to loose- I know my kids will look back on my blog too (since it has caused me to slow a bit with my journaling!) and I pray they are so glad to hear the story as it happened. I even write and tell them what they’re wearing as I write, what’s happening in the world, and what it’s like living in these days we’re living in.
Today I am writing out my prayer for them as we enter into 2018- what I hope and pray for each of them as individuals. Some things are easy to write out, and some take huge amounts of faith for me to even put on paper.
I pray that these words I have penned would be a gift to them for years to come. That they would read these stories with fondness, and that they would feel it so deep in their heart- how much I love them and how much they are adored.
I encourage you mamas… do something to pass on your story to your kids. Every family has a story to be told, and the pain and the good is all apart of it. When they are old enough and wise enough, they can read about the days where their memories may be faint.
Maybe you need to start by writing a letter to your kids on their birthdays. Maybe you need to start journaling too. But whatever you do, know that what you are experiencing, is their story too. It’s a treasure for sure.